Kevin Sorbo The Event
aka The Andromeda Convention aka GMW The Event!!

GOH: Kevin Sorbo, Gordon Michael Woolvett and Steve Bacic

Friday 13th August 2004

Feeling very tired I get up, as I didn't get to bed till nearly 1.30am, I get in me car and pick up me mate Denise, after hugging her lil doggie to death we are on the road to the hotel to collect Little Red Head (LRH).

Pretty soon, after a whistle stop tour of Ealing Broadway (where we saw my brother and he completely blanked me!) we head towards Camden Town, to show LRH a slice of what's left of London's genuine 'community', before it's knocked down by developers (grrrr). Once there, having looked around the famous market, I receive a phone call from Cyberhippie, he's at the station. I proceed to leave the market and I stand in the street, and we begin to name shops at each other to try and get a lock on our positions. After both confirming that we can see Footlocker, I then see a tie dye loud shirt, and a waving hand, and after determining it wasn't a usual Camden resident, I determine that it is in fact CH.

We have pizza, and then leave Camden to head con wards in the Jipsmobile, it begins to rain like there's no tomorrow, and I realise I don't have a coat, so the five hundred or so yards we have to travel from the car to the hotel, we become drowned rats.

Once we've sorted out our hotel rooms we decide to register, and at this time we also purchase our photo tickets and photographs for the autographs - we are horrified when we see that there are no GMW photos, but then assured they are on their way. I have a debate whether to get a photo with Steve Bacic and in the end I decide I will, so thats another dilema out of the way. I'm still not quite believing the guys are here, but its nice to have the confirmation by the purchase of these items.

We head out for our first visit to Mcdonalds for the weekend, and then proceed to get ready for the evening activities - I still have no idea what happened to the afternoon, but I wear my first Beka-esque outfit of the weekend. CH decides to go purple and I busily spray his hair, its kinda fun in that 'spraying someone's hair purple' kinda way.

The Meet and Greet is suddenly upon us (unfortunately cameras were banned from this so no piccies!), and we find ourselves in the Newbury suite. As we purchase our drinks, the first sighting of GMW is made and its Cyberhippie who reacts with most gusto, raising his fist in the air and whooping. We find our table and sit down next to two Sorbo fans, and promptly begin to mock them hehe (not really, they were lovely ladies). We see GMW networking, and I'm in the perfect sitting position to observe him as he makes his way round - rendering me useless for all conversation at this point hehe, GMW is full of smiles and energy as he shakes everybody's hands, spending roughly five to ten mins at each table. Bacic and Sorbo finally arrive when GMW makes it to our section and before we know it he's being introduced to us all, and he goes round to each of us to shake our hands and learn our names (we didn't test him later though!).

Then he settles down at a gap in the table and immediately checks if we're Andromeda or Hercules fans, to which we announce we are Harperchondriacs, and he brightens a lot! (we get the impression he's had to talk to a lot of Hercules/Sorbo fans!) Then asks if we have any questions and we have a moment of stunned silence, and then CH helpfully points out that I do, and I suddenly wonder what it is - whilst GMW looks directly at me in expectation. I finally remember the question in question and ask it, its the question of Rhade and Harper swapping weapons in the Tyr two parter and Gordon finally cottons on after my 'put on the spot bunny in headlights explanation'.

He explains the reasons behind it, that its a confusing episode to start with and things make no sense so in that thinking it made sense that some things wouldn't make sense, and that they actually had wanted to swap outfits too, but time wouldn't allow it. GMW then asks us where we all congregate online and CH informs him that it's at Exisle, GMW reveals that he has heard of the MB but then looks confused, he was under the impression it wasn't a pro-drom board. We set him straight, and I tell him to go and visit the beach forum, and that's where the Harperchondriacs can be found. GMW then explains that he's had little time for the internet recently as he's been building a bed for his three year old, it's taken him two months already and that he's using plans downloaded from the internet. It's in the shape of a digger with a movable digger section at the front! GMW then spots CH's purple hair and says its a shame the girls couldn't be there too. All too soon GMW is moved on to the next table, but before he gets too far away he challenges us to ask him embarrassing and challenging questions during his Q&As the next day!

We are left to simply watch GMW playing with a lightsabre at the next table (courtesy of the Jedi Chefs) whilst we await Steve Bacic's arrival, and when Steve does arrive, before he's even sat down Cyberhippie states 'I don't like you'. Thankfully Steve doesn't stand up and walk away, and instead just laughed, as CH attempted to explain his outburst hehe. We had joked prior to Steve's arrival that we would go 'and you are?' or 'so when is Rhade going to become a character', but I don't think anyone at the table expected such a loving statement from the CH one.

As Steve is sat at our table (after insisting that a lady didn't give up her seat for him and failing hehe) he begins to heckle Kevin Sorbo who at that moment has arrived in our section. Sorbo responds in kind and they throw brief insults between each other, which was amusing to see. Steve asks us our names, and seems to be amused that Cyberhippie shares the same name as him, and has purple hair. CH asks about pronouncing his surname, and Bacic groans and asks us to wait till his talk because thats the one question he is always asked! He does explain that he couldn't believe that he had to travel all this way with Gordon and Kevin, stating that he would have preferred Laura, Lexa or Lisa as company but was told it was Kevin and Gordon, or nothing, so he reluctantly agreed hehe. Steve reveals that he calls his character Teleschmuckus, and that Gordon is constantly ridiculing and picking on him, so we had to think up embarrassing questions for him, and Sorbo the next day. Pretty soon Steve was then moved on, forever heckling Sorbo as he moved around the room.

Next up, we were introduced to Kevin Sorbo, who immediately knelt before us as the chair has disappeared by this point, he then proceeded to inform us about his recent golfing holiday in Scotland, and how they experienced their worst weather for years, much to his obvious disappointment. Once all the golf stories were out of the way he asked us our names and then began to tell us about S5 of Andromeda, and how the cast is once again seven actors, telling us a little bit about the new character of Doyle, I think it was Cyberhippie who simply said 'Pink', to which Sorbo grinned and mentioned something about the energiser bunny. Sorbo also then declared that what the US needs is more roundabouts, and how he thinks they are a great idea, sharing a story with us about how the organiser had asked if he was ok with driving on the left side of the road, and the time he came back from New Zealand (who also drive on the left) to the US and promptly drove on the wrong side of the road to the horror of fellow road users! We notice that he's now wearing a 'Get Harper Laid' button. CH then asks him before he leaves if he's seen his forcelance, Kevin smiles and just mentions something about the auction the next day.

Pretty soon we are leaving the area and we proceed to the computer room and then the bar for the rest of evening, we chat, drink, baulk at the expensive bar bill and then retire to bed.

Saturday 14th August 2004

We wake up fairly early and proceed to breakfast, finding ourselves sat at the same table as the two Sorbo fans we were sat at the previous night at the meet and greet. Whilst we're talking, the organiser of the convention, Brian, sits and eats his breakfast at the next table. He over hears me mention how Sparky would be arriving today from Canada and just has to comment. Once I cleared up the fact she was actually from England and just returning from a family holiday, he seems satisfied and not so confused. He then proceeds to tell us that the event has not sold well, and has cost him a lot of money, we stress how grateful we are that he didn't at any point consider cancelling it!

Due to changing room size (with the imminent arrival of Sparky) Denise and I have to change our rooms from a double to a triple and whilst we're in reception doing this, Steve Bacic staggers past, wearing dark glasses - he notices the two of us and waves before proceeding up the stairs. We quickly sort our room out and make our way to the first talk of the day, which is Steves.

Now I will be first to admit that I had no idea what to expect with Steve Bacic, after watching Abridging the Devils Divide I began to warm to his character and I had heard from people who saw Bacic at an event in February that he was great entertainment value, but still I wasn't sure what to expect. What we got was a very entertaining hour with Steve more or less confirming that he is nothing like his character, and is in fact quite mad! He came onto stage and immediately demanded coffee - something he didn't actually get for a good twenty minutes, and then he pulled out some scraps of paper, on which he had written things to discuss, and to avoid. There were twenty seven in total (and I can't remember them all) but I know that one of the avoids was 'sitting next to the toilet on a nine hour flight' (with sound effects to further his case hehe), another item on the list was Gordon beating him up, something GMW would also touch upon later. Another on his list of things to discuss was 'Gordon being a virgin, and Harper being a virgin', Steve then stated how he'd just found out that Gordon was a father, so maybe that should be Harper being a virgin.

Soon though questions began to distract Bacic, and I will say now that I am just writing down these questions as I remember them and they are in no particular order hehe. CH had to ask the token convention question of 'if you could like chocolate sauce of anyone, who would it be?' - it took Steve a while to get his head around the question and he finally ended up with Halle Berry, but then he mentioned Billy Bob Thornton, and he then had the fit of the giggles. One of the crowd had a gift for Steve of a toy cat/tiger that when his assistant finally turned up with his coffee, she accidently knocked the toy off of the table - Steve was horrified and immediately began to give the cat heart massage, and checking it's breathing. He then noticed that coffee had been spilt on his notes - his poor assistant got the blame hehe. Going back to his lists, Steve then mentioned about when you play golf, and spill coffee on your pants, always bring a friend of the same size who you can swap with, and then let them try and explain it to the wife, whilst you go and talk in front of several hundred people (it actually happened to him last year before Gatecon hehe!)

Someone then asked Steve about his film, I think called 'Teachers' which also stars Laura Bertram, and he mentioned about the many problems he had had with it, how everyone in it donated their time, and how the director had let him down, but he still hoped to salvage it. Many requests were made for Steve to remove his shirt to which he refused, saying he was in no condition to be doing that, and pointing out how many photos there were outside the room with his shirt off, and that we should make do with that. Steve was also asked about his upcoming role in Stargate playing 'Camulus', where he wears a kilt. Asked about Manifico, and Fantastico, Steve explained how some of Rhade's outfits are not the best and that they have alter egos on set - and that it all started due to the fact GMW always mocks him hehe.

All too soon, sadly, because Steve was an absolute riot but after the talks it was photo time! When Steve finally arrived he was still clutching his toy cat protectively, we had heard rumblings from the staff that he had refused to let go of it hehe. The photographer needed to take some test pictures so Steve got down on the floor, laid down and rested the cat under his chin, it took him a good minute to realise how stupid he looked, once the photographer had taken a number of test shots hehe.

I was soon to approach for my photo with Bacic and he immediately caught my 'nutty girl' t-shirt, as I snuggled up to him the cameraman lost his bearings with the countdown, to which Steve whispered to me that the Rob (the cameraman) was so stupid he couldn't count, 'jeez man, learn to count, man' which is why in my photo I look quite amused hehe! (he's also very comfy to embrace hehe!)

As I left the hall after my photo we were told to queue for our photo with GMW, so we promptly walked back into the hall to start queuing for that, GMW soon arrives with a coffee in hand. As one of the first to start queuing I walk up to GMW and he immediately notices my 'Get Harper Laid' button and remembers that he was suppose to wear his today, but had forgotten to put it on. We pose for a photo and all too soon I am moved on.

We then decide to go for a wander (actually I completely forget what we did, but I know we left the con area) because we heard that group photos (with all three guys) were after GMW, when we return we find the Sorbo solo shots are already in progress and for once we're at the back of the queue. This is where me, Den and Cyberhippie met the delightful Jenny. Jenny seemed nervous, and we soon worked out that she was really scared about meeting Kevin Sorbo, so much so she needed a seat! Course, in our loving way CH and myself decided to 'help' her with her fears with advice like 'if you're going to trip in front of him, make sure you trip in catching distance', Jenny, bless her said she'd kill him if he had to catch her to which I responded that the guy was freaking Hercules for goodness sake! hehe, I think that made her feel better about that particular fear. Me and Denise then kindly offered to give her vocal support and promptly burst into a chorus of 'go, Jenny, go, Jenny' to which she begged us to shut up hehe. For the rest of the queue we continued to provide Jenny with positive messages of support ;) Finally it was my turn to be snapped with the VERY tall Kevin Sorbo (Jenny survived the encounter intact - in fact, she had to be prised away from him in the end!) He also noted my nutty girl t-shirt and the Get Harper Laid button!

Once the photos were all taken we decided to grab some food and before we could mock Mcdonalds, ok, we managed to find time to still mock Mcdonalds, we returned to the main hall for GMW's first talk of the weekend. Now this was where I was getting nervous, because for the first time I had a question that I *needed* to ask, but I'm not the sort of person who relishes attention, certainly not the sort of person who would normally walk up to the mic and ask a question! So, I was a little apprehensive because those around me were all looking at me, asking me when I planned to ask the question and I was like 'I'll do it, just in my own time hehe' - the reason they really wanted to know was because all they knew was that the question I had for Gordon, had actually come from his brother Jaimz - but I had not revealed the question in question.

GMW bounded onto stage, and immediately launched into a Magog joke. "A magog goes into a Castellian bank and asks for a loan of 40 thrones. The Castellian, Paddy Black, asks if he has any collateral. The magog has a search and comes up with a shrunken human head. So Paddy goes to the bank manager (a nightsider) and says, "I have a magog who wants a loan of 40 thrones and all he has for collateral is this thing. What the hell is it"? So the nightsider says, "It's a knick-nack, Paddy Black, give the magog a loan"

Then he thanked us for laughing, stating that he's more use to groans, but then declared that he really liked us as a result hehe. Then he told us that he was going to bring over an outtake he had on tape from S5, but he didn't think it would work with our systems only to discover that it would have, but decided instead to 'act' it out. It involves a fight with Rhade, and a rash, and he's apparently scratching himself as a result and in a flurry he rips off his shirt, and you see his back and this 'thing' on his back - but before the camera has a chance to focus on what it's suppose to focus on (the thing on his back) Gordon spins around and dances in front of camera with tassles/pasties on his chest! Hopefully it makes the DVD!

The questions then came thick and fast and in true con tradition I have forgotten them all hehe, it also didn't help that during the talk a message appears on the big screen asking me to go to the registration desk, I figure that Sparkycola has arrived, so I am forced to leave the talk for a little while!

I meet up with Sparky, who has literally just flown home from Canada after a family holiday, and after showing her the room and having a quick chat to make sure she's ok and knows where everything is, I head back to the talk. Because I had told Sparky about the question I had from Jaimz Woolvett, I decided I'd ask my question when she was able to attend the Q&A so I was saved from having to ask the question!

By this point GMW now had a mini Harper doll (courtesy I think of Clairsearch) who he appears to be talking to hehe. Now, the questions I do remember - Gordon got the obligatory 'if you could lick chocolate off of anyone who would it be?' after some thought Gordon decided on Trance, because Rommie had had her chance, then quickly added that obviously if Rommie made the offer he wouldn't refuse until he decided that he'd like them both! (I think that was the answer to that question, or maybe the question for that answer was who he prefered Rommie or Trance, I forget now! hehe - photographic memory is not something I was blessed with!) Gordon was informed of Steves answer to the chocolate sauce question, and he seemed pretty worried by the mention of Billy Bob Thornton.

Asked if Gordon would like a spin off series from Andromeda, he exclaimed sure, and decided the best one would be Harper settling on a planet and it would be called 'Harper's Bar', it would be a great success - he tried to assure us!

Gordon was then asked about his proposed film that he had written and hoped to direct, that would star Kevin Sorbo and GMW seems surprised that Kevin had mentioned it (I assume during the meet and greet) but stated that it was something he hoped would happen, its a dark comedy with a role that he thinks is perfect for Kevin, who would play a thief who finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gordon was asked about Deepwater Black and he stated that he'd be surprised if anyone saw anything of it again, and then he was asked about acting and he recounted how his first film was Joshua Then and Now, he played James Woods son and his performance was so good, that they had to dub his voice. It didn't take long for someone to ask about the new character on Drom, Doyle, a character who's picture was recently released and she's wearing a pink outfit. Gordon seemed quite defensive on this subject (I think he's read a lot of comments online) and explained that what you'll see on screen is not what you see in the picture, the outfit is not that pristine or 'pink' in the episodes. GMW went on further to explain that Harper has built her 'away' from the Andromeda, and hints that Harper is away from the ship for a long time living amongst a simple society, having been stranded for a long time.

When asked to name his favourite episode he states Harper 2.0 and Ouroborus, he stresses that the first choice isn't just because he's in it a lot but that it was a fun idea, and the second choice because the episode represented so much change. Gordon then further explained what Steve referred to earlier when Steve claimed Gordon had beaten him up. Apparently during a S5 episode, both Rhade and Harper get into a fight and during this fight, Harper grabs a peice of 'something' and hits Rhades back, the 'thing' in question is actually balsa wood, but what Gordon didn't realise is that its only effective if you hit the actor 'straight' on and with all your strength, unfortunately Gordon pulled the punch, caught Steve at an angle and got his straight in the kidney! He got it right the second time though!

All too soon though the talk is rounded off and Gordon leaves the stage to huge applause and we now await the arrival of Kevin Sorbo and within minutes he appears, all smiles. He begins by talking of his golf holiday, basically going over what he had told us during the meet and greet and then the questions start coming at him - again, I can't remember the order but these are the questions I do remember!

Asked about the end of Season Four, Kevin is pretty honest in saying he has no idea what the writers are planning to do with his character in relation to the developments - when he read the script for the finale, he immediately questioned what their plans were and they couldn't tell him, because they didn't completely know! He states he has little say in the matter but has stressed to the writers to simply not make 'Dylan look stupid', apparently he gets another chance to change 'something' (without giving out spoilers) and he thinks that if Dylan fails again he'll just look stupid, and he wants to avoid that at all costs, and hopes the writers agree!

The one area he says he does fight for is to give Laura Bertram/Trance more to do, but thus far in S5 his pleas have fallen on deaf ears from what he was saying, he also states that he doesn't want Trance to just spout riddles all the time. There were a few Hercules questions that I kinda 'huh' about (never watched the show!) I think it was during this talk that Kevin was asked how he felt about the evolution of Dylan Hunt from S1 to S4, unfortunately he didn't quite understand the question but he did state that he didn't feel Dylan had changed for the worse.

Kevin then produced some items for auction, four gifts he had organised for the crew at the end of each season - S1 had underwear with the slogan 'have you seen my forcelance?' printed on them, S2 was an Andromeda umbrella, with the slogan 'it never rains in space', S3 was a desk organiser/clock thingie and S4 was a long sleeve baseball type shirt with Andromeda Season 4 written on the back. It was amazing the bids that were being taken for the items, a couple going well over £250 and Kevin seemed very pleased, the money raised was being split between his charity and a local charity that Wolf Events was supporting. The funniest thing about this auction however had to be the heckling Steve Bacic did from the back as a drunk Mexican, continuingly offering joke bids from a convict for the underwear, especially after KS put them on!

Soon his talk was over, and we all left the hall, it was now the autograph session so Denise and I hurried back to our room to gather our photos for signing, and I also picked up the Harperchondriacs Guidebook and a t-shirt I had made for Gordon. Being a low number we are able to queue straight away and we queue up, then I remember I had two trading cards I wanted Kevin and Gordon to sign (the costume cards) so I hurry back to the room again to grab them! I make it back in time and pretty soon I'm at Gordon's table, once again he's all smiles as he takes the photos, before he signs them, I hand him the gifts and he immediately begins to flick through the book. I explain that it could be some good reading for the flight home and he readily agrees, stating its perfect for the nine hour flight hehe. He then takes the t-shirt and laughs at the GMW/BMW logo reworking, he then turns the shirt around to see the back print (that reads 'Seamus Harper: Engineered to perfection' - another play on BMW) and he just exclaims that he totally agrees hehe. Now that I am established as a Harperchondriac, he starts to sign my picture, pausing halfway through the word Harperchondriac to check the spelling, and I explain that I think we need to shorten the name and he grins, before realising if he continued writing the word he'd be signing over his face so continues on the next line! He explains that he's surprised that the Harper Front (A german faction of Harper fans) had not been present and I agree, having seen the messages on his board with the gifts they send him each year, before he takes the costume card and after a brief look he signs it, and I'm able to move on - not that I really wanted to! My mate Denise then asks him if it had been his idea or the producers to introduce the conflict between Harper and Dylan in his episode 'Abridging the Devils Devide' and he says it was all his idea, that he had written that in. Basically he felt it was about time one of the crew messed up and that Dylan wouldn't go easy on them, or let them off for going against him.

Next up is Steve Bacic and I hand him the photo, he once again notes the nutty girl t-shirt I am wearing and then asks if he can use his pen to cover up Gordon's face on my 'Get Harper Laid' badge, I obviously say no to that request and he observes that Harper definately looks desperate in the photo on my badge! Steve then signs my photo, including a comment to me being a nutty girl and I am moved on once more - Steve is so funny, I seriously misjudged this guy!

I then approach Kevin Sorbo, who duly signs my photo and he's the first to ask about the name 'Jipster', I explain its just a nickname that even my mum calls me, and he then asks where it comes from (its times like these I wish it was a more interesting story) I simply say its my brothers doing, and thats when Sorbo notices the costume card. 'The bastards, so that's what happened to my uniform!' he exclaims as he checks the card closely, smiling and shaking his head. 'I knew I couldn't trust them' he adds before signing it for me.

With a contented sigh I leave the autograph madness and I find Sparkycola outside the hall, it seems a shame that she will have to miss the party in the evening due to only having a Sunday ticket so I decide to approach Sarah at the registration desk - with a really lovely smile I plead with her to allow us to let Sparky join us for the party and very kindly she asks for Sparky's arm and wraps a armband around it, as of then, Sparky is officially allowed access to the event - big yay for Wolf Events!!! :) Also at this time my mate Denise decides to treat me for my upcoming 30th birthday celebrations by buying me a group photo ticket for the next day, bless her!

We all head back to our rooms and chill for a couple of hours, during which time Sparky and Denise sit down to watch Abridging the Devils Devide. We get ready for the party and head down just after eight, although a quiet affair, we soon get up on the dance floor and when Britney manages to clear the dancefloor, myself, Cyberhippie, LRH and Sparky decide to play 'throw the tribble' - we keep the dance floor occupied until the next song drags people back from their seats!

Sunday 15th August 2004

So up nice and early, and with Denise and Sparkycola, we grab breakfast. The mood seems pretty relaxed as I admire the woman who won the Andromeda Season Four Crew shirt, it looks pretty cool. First talk today is Gordon Michael Woolvett and I know that today I *have* to ask my question, I hate not being comfortable talking in front of a crowd, especially when everyone I talk to seems to find it so bloody easy, and insist on reminding me of this!

We are soon taking our seats and I keep telling myself it'll be alright, just ask the question and then I can enjoy and relax during the rest of the talk. When Gordon bounds on stage to huge applause, he immediately turns his back to the audience and theres a second of confusion, he then literally rips his shirt open (still facing away from us, good job it was a shirt with poppers!) and we begin to wonder what on earth he's doing, he then removes the shirt and to my complete and utter horror and delight, Gordon is wearing the shirt I gave him the previous day!! He shows off both sides to the audience and I'm speechless, astounded, all the Harperchondriacs are staring at me and I can't stop smiling!

Gordon first of all lets us know that he actually questioned Steve about his billy bob thornton chocolate sauce fantasy the previous night and claims he understands it a bit better now, and then apologised for not being at the party, explaining that his wife is with him in London and he treated her to a night out (turned out Sorbo and Steve joined them too!). He asked who won the fancy dress and seemed disappointed that there was no winners or anything, he then mentioned how his little boy didn't want 'daddy' to go to work today (and we all awww'd). Gordon then explained how the organiser 'Brian' had told him off for allowing people to ask him questions the day before without going up to the mics, so he was going to insist on mic questions only today - good man!

Gordon then produced three scripts of Abridging the Devils devide and said that people who could answer the questions he asks would win them, well the first question was about AtDD and unfortunately CH wasn't tech head enough and the script went to someone else, the next question related to the plane Harper built in Harper 2.0 and this time CH didn't fail by answering correctly that it was the Bell X-1, and then finally he asked which episode was the first to be filmed, which Clairsearch correctly answered as D Minus Zero - he signed all the scripts, and apparently told CH that his script was to be shared between all the Harperchondriacs, I think CH failed to remember that small fact .

I finally went up to the mic and waited my turn. Having never asked a question during a Q&A before, this was very daunting for me and then GMW was staring at me so I had to speak hehe. First off I said how I was glad he liked the shirt, and he was very sweet about it and then I had to ask my question.

"I have been realiably informed that your real name is actually Fudge or Fudgie, could you say if this is true or not?"

There was a moment of silence, and GMW just stared at me and then grinned, and with mock shock he asked 'who the hell have you been talking to?!" I had to respond with 'someone who may be called Jaimz' - Gordon mocks horror and exclaims 'my brother??! don't listen to anything he says!' I quickly sit down, whilst the hall laughs, he tells us that his nick name was indeed Fudgie as a kid, and if like me, any of you have read the Judy Blume books like 'Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing' then it should make more sense. In these books 'Fudgie' is the main character, the youngest and considered a bit of a trouble maker for being so.

GMW said he got this nickname from his family because he would never eat his food and would kick up a fuss about it, and then went on to explain (stressing that he didn't want to give the impression that he should have been taken into care!) that one day his father got so annoyed with him that he actually took his plate and poured the food all over Gordon's head hehe. He then explained that another time, when his dad was away, his mother was getting really worked up at the dinner table, because all three siblings were saying 'Gimme', like 'Gimmie that' 'Gimme the salt' etc etc, and she stated that the next person to say 'Gimme' would pay the price, GMW explained that being the youngest he just couldn't resist and said 'Gimme the ketchup' - to which his mother responded by taking the ketchup and squirting it all over Gordon! Unfortunately, it squirted straight into his eye (painful!) he screamed, and his mother immediately felt guilty and smothered him with hugs (awww!!) but GMW then added that he's never let his mother forget that incident. Gordon then admitted that he suspects he's going to get payback now for everything he put his parents through in the shape of his own young son, who appears by all accounts to have inherited the endless energy and mischief of his father, citing as an example that right now his kid's favourite word is 'why'.

Gordon then announces that between questions he was going to go deeper into explaining the whole writing process on Andromeda, and begins by saying that when he submits an idea for a script it is only on one piece of paper, and what happens is if they are interested then he'll get the bit of paper back with 'suggestions'. He goes away, works on the suggestions and submits it again. If he's lucky and his idea is accepted he'll be asked to write the script and then will be asked to a meeting - I forget the correct title of it, but Gordon refers to it as the 'can't do' meeting, where they go through the script and tell him what they can't do - and basically it sounds like everybody involved in the show gets to remark on the script and he's expected to follow their suggestions, whilst still maintaining 'his' idea.

Whilst talking about working on Andromeda, Gordon made a funny passing reference to filming scenes with Kevin, and how he has to have his soap box to 'at least attempt to be in the same freaking shot as Kevin'. Asked about whether he reads fanfic he stated that he really isn't allowed to, due to his commitments to the show and that he was warned very early on to avoid it, especially as he intended to submit scripts - they just can't take the risk, but he did say he was aware of how much of it there is.

Now I can't remember if this was asked during the first or second talk, but someone did ask him about Chucky, and what it was like working with the puppet and GMW said it was hilarious because between takes the puppet's hand would always find his knee! Gordon then was asked whether he'd like to do any theater work, especially in London, as expected he said he would but then said he would need about six weeks to prepare because he hasn't done theatre since he was sixteen, and its a different practice to TV acting. He then retold his last audition for theatre when he was about twenty one, it was a musical where he would have to play piano (I forget the musician he would have been performing as though!) and basically because of the 'habits' he had picked up in TV, with improvising, he totally bombed the audition, so much so his agent was told to never let the 'moron' audition again for them hehe. Gordon was then presented with his very own Barbie doll by a fan, in honour of the new character Doyle, which he accepted in good heart and a hug for the giver hehe!

The final question Gordon was asked came from my mate Denise who asked him what song best summed up Harper in his opinion, GMW seemed pretty impressed by the question and after a moment of thought he responds with 'Bad Moon Rising' by Creedence Clearwater Revival or a play on titles he also suggests 'Johnny Be Bad', he then turned the question back to Den and she replied with Robbie Williams 'Old Before I Die' (aw shucks, just like my music video hehe!) - he hadn't heard of it though!

Then Brian arrived and announced that three Sparky Cola cans would be auctioned, and suggested the best way to do it was those people who wanted to bid stand up, so basically nearly all the Harperchondriacs stood up, along with a few others. The bids went up in ten pounds, I'd decided I could go up to £65 so I remained standing, once it got to £70 I sat down, and someone else did as well - and to my complete disappointment (but joy for LRH and Denise who had remained standing!!) the three cans all went for £70! I am glad to report all three cans went to good Harperchondriac homes! The amusing part of this was when Gordon had to asked if Little Red Head was standing or not, he then rapidly apologised, citing that he knew more than most how bad that is to ask, and he was the last person to be able to say that!

Once again the talk was over way too quickly and GMW left the stage, and I then found myself in the photograph room for my group photo with the guys. Gordon was there already, drinking coffee, and waiting for the other two to turn up. After five minutes Kevin Sorbo wanders in and immediately begins to talk to Gordon but still no Steve Bacic, another ten mins pass before Steve staggers in and we all mock cheer him, and he's all smiles, but looks a little worse for wear hehe! The guys step up to the photo area and before long they are messing about, one guy, a very tall guy steps up to have his photo taken and Kevin is the first to react by trying to hide behind him (not many people they matched his height!) and then there's a little burst of laughter and I see that the guy now has his elbow resting on Gordon's head!

I was then told by someone in a better position to see than I was in, (thanks CH!), that Gordon then demanded the guy sort his hair out - the guy responded by licking his hand and running it through Gordon's hair to spike it up again! Gordon hysterically reacts going 'ewww' quite a lot, whilst Kevin and Steve crack up with laughter, Gordon then gets down on all fours and begins to wipe his hair along the carpet hehe!

I then arrive at my turn and I apologise to Gordon for the question to which he says he thought it was a good question and notes that once again he forgot to wear his 'get harper laid' button, and the picture is then taken - whilst its being taken the organiser spots my 'visit Ontario, its full of mooses' t-shirt and Gordon immediately reacts as he looks at it, I explain it's where my family come from and he says something like 'ah, that explains it' but he never says what so I have no idea what conclusion he jumped to! Then in true captain fashion, Kevin orders me to turn around so he can check to, and he seems amused hehe.

My mate then has her photo taken and for some reason Kevin Sorbo declares to the others that they were going to 'eat' her, and promptly they each take a piece of her to nibble! Sorbo takes her shoulder, and Steve and Gordon each take an arm.

After the photos we decide its time for more chilling and Macdonalds and soon its time for the next talk, Steve Bacic's second of the weekend. We all take our seats, and there seems to be more expectation this time around, after the success of his first talk!

To my surprise (Sunday was a surprising day for me!) just before Bacic talk we were treated to some Andromeda music videos, all of which were supplied by Mercury's Winters Command Deck website, the first one to play was 'Friends', and we even got the photos of fellow Harperchondriacs at the end - Parisindy, Shea, Gordon AI, Nureek, Eljay etc etc! until they cut it off and then began to play 'Loving every minute of it', then to my personal absolute delight they played my music video 'Our Drom' to Madness's 'Our House', and I was staggered that the audience were laughing in all the right places I was in happy land, that was an awesome surprise, and then they finished with 'We Will Rock You', all the videos got a great response, cheers, laughter and huge applause, it was really cool to witness! After those videos the organiser, Brian came on stage and in respect of the Babylon 5 actor Richard Briggs who died a couple of months ago, he played a tribute video - as someone who only saw Briggs in february at a convention, it was a touching moment.

Steve then appeared onstage five minutes later, well staggers on stage, and explains how he can hold his drink better than the others, it kinda explains his somewhat sorry appearance! Quickly he also explains how Rhade this season is going to be a bar dweller in the most part, with a drink problem and this is received quite well, I know I for sure can't wait to see this development, it certainly explains the more interesting look Bacic is sporting right now!

Someone asks Bacic about the 'pencilled on beard' that Gordon asked us to ask him, and Steve just laughs and explains that in the first part of S4 his beard did need additional detail, he then asked us to ask Gordon about pencilled in eyebrows. Continuing on the Gordon theme, Steve begins to lament once again about the lack of touching he can do to Gordon, and how Keith could touch a lot, and then tells us how he walked past Keiths dressing room once, heard a shower, heard Gordon, heard a goat, and he moved quickly on very scared - the audience by this point is rolling on the floor laughing! It was at this point that Steve suddenly remembered that Gordon would be returning to stage, with him, later in the day and he quickly panicked asking us amongst other things to not tell on him.

The lists continued during this talk, new additions were 'never stand between Kevin and a female guest star', its apparently very dangerous as the pull between them can be suffocating, he then remarked how Rhade always seems to look on as Kevin gets down to business I guess. He also mentioned that another on his list to avoid is Gordon's bottom, and I can only assume this is after the three guys had taken the Stewards photo (that I can not do justice by simply describing it!)

Steve then recalled the previous day question about chocolate sauce and said he had heard that Gordon had chosen both Rommie and Trance, and that he had changed his mind, he retrieves a copy of UK Sci-Fi magazine 'SFX' and shows us a picture of the lady he now wants to lick chocolate sauce of off - its Jolene Blalock from Enterprise who has some rather nice pictures in the magazine, she won most sexiest Alien out of a list of 69, Bacic then goes on to announce that Rhade was the highest placed Andromeda star, and then tells us that Spock however beat him, and ET - although he takes comfort in the fact he did beat Keith Hamilton Cobb, although can't understand (along with CH) why Laura Bertram or Lexa Doig were not higher, but he seems happy as he spends the next twenty minutes talking us through the list and making a point of lingering over the sexy ladies, especially the naked one!

Steve then asks if the erotic fiction writer is present, she is, and she comes to the front of stage to give him one of her books - and Steve notes how her male friend is cringing as he begins to read the book, then says he'll read that later. Steve then goes into greater detail about Gordon hitting him with the balsa wood, explaining that its probably his own fault as just before the scene he had warned Gordon that he can 'snap' when provoked or hit, without warning, and to just be aware of that and he felt Gordon took that a little seriously and might have been a little hesitant about hitting him! After Gordon had hit him, he was quick to step away, and Steve simply said he was peeing blood for a week! Then he said that he retrieved the 'eventual' broken balsa wood and got Gordon to sign it, and he signed the other section and then got the behind the scenes guys to put it in a presentation box, it's now being auctioned on ebay for charity.

Once again, Steve's inane warblings came to an end way too soon - after a few more chants and crowd participation exercises - the guy is seriously nuts and all I can say is I feel I have done him little justice in my write ups, and because of his style it's hard to put a lot of what he did into words - a very visual guy - you seriously have to attend one of his Q&As to fully appreciate the guy, and after some toing and froing between Bacic and the organiser, and we were quickly introduced to Kevin Sorbo.

Kevin arrives all smiles, and begins to talk about the previous night where he said Gordon Woolvett suggested the venue for the evening, and how they were the only ones in the place, and he doubted GMW's choice, until about ten o'clock when suddenly the place became packed with people and he was glad to have a table. He also explained that Steve maybe drunk a bit too much, explaining he had at least seven shots on top of what he was already drinking, and Kevin explained that he's too old now to be like that, and how he wimp'ed out at 2am, wanting to go home - mentioning the extortionate cab fare back to the hotel. The bouncer at the venue recognised Kevin and was apparently in awe of him, requesting an autograph, this giant of a man, which seemed to amuse Kevin a lot, stating if he needed protection that he wanted this guy to be it. He also said that the venue attracted the likes of Destiny's Child (he mentioned others, which I forget) but he claimed it was ok now because they had the Andromeda guys in the house.

Kevin was asked what his future plans are and he made it clear that unless Tribune hurry up, he wasn't going to hang around to see if Andromeda gets the go ahead for season six, it seems there's still no final decision on its future yet. He is currently reviewing a few sitcom offers, one which he said involves him playing an old pro-footballer who returns to his home town and has to deal with returning to the reality of real life, like picking kids up from school, getting groceries etc that he seems keen on. He also says that working on a sitcom as opposed to Andromeda, would free up more of his time to allow him to work more in films, which is his ultimate goal, and he once again mentioned the black comedy film that GMW has written that he wants to work on, he wants to expand into more comedic roles.

When asked which episode he is most proud of and least proud of on Andromeda, he cites 'the fish people' episode from season one which he thought was just a bad idea, and not well executed, he says the season finale of S1 and S4 as amongst his favourites, but says he has many episodes that would fall into the 'proud' category for various reasons. The question asker then cites that 'Mad to be Saved' was a poor episode and he seems a little taken aback by this, saying that sometimes ideas do not transfer as well as expected, but did say the problem he had with that episode in particular was the suits Tyr and he had to wear when rescuing the mad people, because he felt they were too cumbersome and couldn't understand why, in Andromeda's universe, they couldn't just have small breathing aparatus on - suffice to say, he noted, those suits will never appear again hehe. When asked about the girls of Andromeda, Kevin explains that they have the dirtiest mouths, and how for a bloopers TV show it was only Lexa and Lisa who were asked to sign release forms for their foul language, which he finds amusing.

Kevin talked about being most pleased about the DVDs that are released for Andromeda, with all the special features that he feels they are really well produced, and it didn't take long for CH to oppose this view saying that the Region 2 DVDs do not contain the same special features as the Region 1 DVDs. Kevin to his credit makes a note of this and assures us that he will question this oversight, and that he appreciates being told because unless he is told, he can't do anything about it. He is then told about the same inconsistencies with the Hercules DVD releases in this country, and how they are so far behind in the releases - something Kevin says he is already aware of and questioning.

Kevin also recounted a story from set where the props people 'changed' the props he was expecting in a cupboard, instead of weapons, he found sex toys, but he didn't allow it to faze him and stayed in character, especially when he pulled out a dildo and apparently with a straight face, he *as Dylan* explained about that particular painful experience - it made the gag reel the crew saw, we have to wait and see if it makes the DVD gag reel!

A few Hercules questions are asked (and I have no idea, cos I never watched the show) before Kevin requests that the other two join him, requests are quickly sent outside of the hall to find them. A few moments pass before we hear some heckling from the back, and Steve Bacic has a mic, we then see GMW walking up the centre isle with a mic as well and the joint talk, that I've been looking forward to, rapidly begins as the guys join Kevin on the stage.

They immediately begin by saying they can say all the gossip about the girls, and once again the subject of their 'potty mouths' is brought up, although Steve now admits that he was also asked to sign a release form, and neither Kevin or Gordon seem surprised by this. Steve then sits down and produces the erotic novel he acquired earlier from the author, it becomes apparent that he has been reading it and he tells us that he just has to read from a specific page. He begins to read, noting that both the author and her partner are now cringing as he does so, Gordon checks that she is the author and then once Steve has read a few lines, Gordon suddenly disappears off stage and out of the room in mock panic - all we hear from outside, well use your imagination in this part hehe!

Once Gordon returns, the first question asked is a Hercules one, that makes Sorbo point to the other two and say 'shouldn't we be talking about Andromeda?' but the other two don't seem too concerned especially when the question is asking Kevin to recreate what I assume is a famous scene from Hercules, when Kevin pours water over himself - only the question asker wants Kevin to cover himself in glittery 'like water' stuff, after some encouragement from Gordon and Steve, Kevin agrees and duly obliges. Gordon then compares the effect of the glitter to that of dandruff and gets quickly onto the subject of Kevin's advert career for hair products, and then before Kevin can interrupt explains how once he downloaded lots of pictures of Kevin's model days and put them together that they then used on the Andromeda set, I think appearing on the screens during a scene!

They didn't really need questions as Steve began to muck about and they continuingly bantered between each other in reaction, but one question that was asked was something like 'point to the joker/trouble maker of the group', both Gordon and Kevin pointed to Steve and Steve pointed to Gordon. The subject of height was also briefly mentioned, with Gordon once again mentioning his attempts to be in the same shot as Kevin. During this time, Steve sidles up beside Gordon and starts standing too close to him, and we see GMW move away, until he finally tells Steve about 'personal space' - and Steve looks to the audience in a 'see?' manner, saying how Keith was always allowed to stand close to him, as sharp as ever Gordon responds that this is because he knew where he stood with Keith in a heterosexual way, but had no idea with Steve - to much applause and laughter, and Steve returns to his stool in defeat.

Kevin decides that now is a good time to start the auction, and produces some more items that he had with him, another desk clock, umbrella and a very impressive 'actual' script, signed by all the cast from the S4 finale. The first item is desk clock and Kevin attempts to start the auction off, but after two bids he turns to Gordon and asks him to take over, saying he'd be better at it and almost immediately Gordon snaps into auctioneer mode seamlessly, and its amazing how quickly he is talking whilst still making sense, as he goes through the motions of citing the actual bid and requesting new bids - and things start to hot up. Steve (bless him) tries to help Gordon by spotting bids but he can't keep up and only ends up confusing GMW a couple of times, to the amusement of the crowd, Kevin points out to Steve that this is serious and Steve defensively claims he is helping Gordon, although GMW doesn't seem so convinced.

Then what is probably the funniest thing I heard/saw all weekend occurs, as Gordon concentrated on the auction bids, Steve began to mess about behind him - mocking him, and seemingly without Gordon knowing - both the crowd and Kevin are laughing at his antics, but GMW doesn't seemed in the least bit aware of what is happening behind him. Then as Gordon continues to cite the latest bid, and the next bid, he calmly states - with the straightest of faces, and without missing a beat, Gordon says 'Steve, there's a mirror at the back of the room, I can see what you are doing,' and immediately returns to the bids. It is a priceless moment (one I fear you had to be there to fully appreciate the comedic value of!) and Steve, once again defeated returns to his stool (thus proving his claims that he is picked on by the others!). Kevin then walks behind Steve and pushes him off his stool!

The auction continues and Gordon seems highly animated as bidding wars erupt between two people, with both him and Steve goading the bidders to keep outbidding the others - whenever Cyberhippie bids, Gordon refers to him as 'his purpleness', and the whole place is buzzing, a really great atmosphere and I think nearly £3,000 was eventually raised from about eight or nine items that Kevin brought over - not bad at all for the low attendance, I was certainly pleased and surprised - wishing that I could have at least bid. Steve then does a great turn as a model, as he displays the t-shirt being auctioned across his chest and stands like a mannequin, moving slowly so everyone can see, with great comedic effect and once again almost distracting Gordon from his relentless commentary of the bids!

At the end of the auction Steve decides to auction what he claims to be his gin bottle that he's been drinking from for the past half hour, he signs it and gets the other two to sign it too and it raises a bit of cash, I think it went for over £100! The Raffle is next, and Steve gets too excited about picking out the tickets, the final Sparkycola can on offer goes to another Harperchondriac home as Cyberhippie walks away with the prize!

All too soon we are saying goodbye to the guests as the final minutes of the convention have arrived, its with genuine sadness that the hall is closed and the guests leave - that final hour was complete madness, I can't wait to see the video!

We all gather outside and say our goodbyes to fellow attendees we have gotten to know, lots of hugs are exchanged and we're all so high but at the same time sad that its over, we collect the remaining photos and head back to our rooms. As LRH, myself, Denise and Sparky are staying an additional night we don't have to rush off, so after saying goodbye to Cyberhippie and Cauda (hmm, he was with us all weekend and I chose to only mention him as he leaves, I'm evil!! Cauda is cool though, don't get me wrong!!! hehe) we decide to treat ourselves to a lovely slap up meal at the hotel restaurant, and although we wait a day and a half for it (ok, slight exaggeration!) it was a lovely meal! We check our second home, the computer room, and soon run into Rommie's Voice and then Harper 2.0 - its then decided that we'll all have a Drom fest back in our room, which begins with Pieces of Eight, then another viewing of Abridging the Devils Divide, Symmetry of Imperfection before launching into the two season finale episodes. Then for a laugh I play Gordon Michael Woolvett's 'Captain Power' episode, I think everyone is still scarred by the mullet from hell!

And that was it, now midnight, we check the computer room one final time before calling it a night - the convention is truely over

The End
aka back to reality

Jipster, August 2004